Small iPhone Accessory Firm to Annihilate iPhone’s “Scratched Screen Repair” Industry
Posted by misterkrypton on June 1, 2009
Screen Scratch Repair Industry sort of looks like this yellow guy
Krypton Products Prepares for launch of Industry Killing iPhone Screen Armor Line
To the chagrin and frustration of “screen scratch” repairmen everywhere, up and coming iPhone Accessory firm Krypton Products LLC is in preparation to release its new Screen Armor line of iPhone screen protection. Consisting of the Screen Armor Ultra Clear, Screen Armor Anti-Glare, and Screen Armor Privacy, Krypton’s new line of products will not only give iPhone users sleek and functional protection for their phones, but also use a mighty corporate fist to deal a powerful and crushing blow to the struggling iPhone screen scratch repair industry.
“I guess the best we can hope for is a corporate bailout” says Jonathan Foster of Detroit Michigan’s “iFix”, a local iPhone scratch repair shop. “Once people get a hold of this Screen Armor nonsense, we’ll all be out of a job. This place’ll be a ghost town in no time.”
Foster, a proud sixth generation iPhone scratch screen repairman, then added, “my granddaddy’s granddaddy started iFix when the first generation iPhone came out. I’ll be darned if any fly by night company comes in and runs me out…I don’t care how sleek or functional their products are.”
Made with three layers of tough scratch resistance, Krypton’s Screen Armor line will not only provide users with added iPhone screen protection, but will also allow for greater touch navigation to help users glide even more effortlessly from menu to menu.
In a recent interview, the malevolent and soon to be corporate powerhouse Krypton Products refused to acknowledge its potential affect on the sad screen scratch repair industry, “I didn’t even realize there was such an industry,” said Marketing Manager Robert Macauley. “I thought when people’s iPhones got scratched, they were scratched forever That’s why we made these awesome products in the first place.” He then added, “Weird.”
As of publication, it is unclear as to whether the Screen Scratch Repair Industry’s generous benefits structure, high wages (in comparison to foreign counterparts), and considerable cost of providing medical coverage and health insurance to retirees are also significant contributing factors to the industry’s woes.
A dynamic, modern, carbon-free, and totally amazing company, Krypton is fundamentally aware of the fact that you love your gadgets. A California company, Krypton is committed to protecting your envied collection of technological marvels while ensuring style, function, and fashion are still fully addressed. Apart from selling fashionable, practical, and brilliantly designed iPhone accessories, Krypton’s Random Acts of Greenness movement encourages waste consciousness in everyone and aims to one day make “leaving lights on because you’re too lazy to get up” and “driving one mile to get to work” a thing of the past. For more information about Krypton’s Screen Armor Products, please visit: http://www.kryptonproducts.com.
Richard Kerlin said
Mr. K,
Today I looked in my mailbox and there it was… It’s here it’s here it’s here! The Krypton Ultra-Clear Screen Armor… the salvation for my iphone screen. I quickly opened the package and set out the contents; not just one, but two screens with a cleaning cloth and application card. In my haste to apply it on my iphone, I dropped the screen on the floor. It collected more dust and dog hair that I never knew existed. It was a bummer but I was glad that the package came with two screens. But then I remember reading on the package, “Washable, removable, and reusable.” What the heck? Well it’s worth a try I thought, so I went after it with simple household dishwashing soap and water. What an amazing product! It cleaned up remarkably and to my astonishment my iPhone is now sporting a crystyal clear screen protector. I can now move fearlessly through the world, confident that the lurking evil scratches can’t get past my new protection. Thank you Krypton! I don’t know how to post this message with a photo, but I’ll send you an email instead. Thanks Again!